Another wonderful evening spent with S & B. Tim and I are already getting weepy about them returning to France next week. We've been on a whirlwind of emotion and excitement this week as our normal life is continuing. I sat down today to catch up on my homework (I am a full time college student, taking 13 units this semester) and gathering paperwork from my son's ENT consultation to have tubes put in his ears from this morning as well. Life is pushing on, yet I'm relishing the beautiful gift that is about to come. Yesterday was my 25th birthday. I never thought that at 25 I would be celebrating 5 amazing years of marriage, raising two wonderfully healthy and happy children, and preparing to bring another child into the world that is not mine for keeps. I've always made it my mission to teach my children about giving without expectation of receiving anything in return, and at 4.5, that seems to be a tough concept for my daughter, but I know one day she will understand. I want Paisleigh to look back on her childhood and see that I gave my all for others.
For S & B, because they have experienced the absolutely painful loss of a child, I want nothing but joy for them. I've been asked what I look forward to the most out of this whole experience, and the first thing that comes to my head is a scene of the birth that is to come. I play over and over their reactions on their faces of when their child enters the world. For me, even if some of the details of birth go blurry, seeing and hearing in your mind the first minute of your child's birth is so unforgettable. I look forward to Dr. C delivering little Peanut and handing him/her directly to S. I feel like that moment will be the one that will make everyone around me see that this is exactly what I am going through all of this for. All of the appointments, the injections, the pain of delivery, the exhaustion of pregnancy with 2 children at home; it's all irrelevant to that one minute in someone else's life. It has nothing to with me, but has everything to do with two people that deserve to feel unconditionally loved and needed by a little being.
I feel like I have just been rambling. I'm tired, drained, excited, thrilled, and everything in between. I'm going to be so depressed when S & B return home, but I have my final medical screening this upcoming week so hopefully that will keep me distracted.
Only love today <3
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Meant To Be
Today was the day! We finally met S & B. I even started my day at the DMV at 6:30am and that didn't damper my mood one bit! Where do I even begin???....
Driving to the clinic to pick them up was surreal. I wasn't nervous, but my stomach was turning in knots. I don't know what it is like to meet a long lost sibling, but I imagine that this is what it feels like. Walking up to them and seeing faces that I have only seen in pictures or in virtual chats is beyond exciting. I, of course, hugged S first. We hugged for what seemed like eternity. Because we do not speak the same language and can not fully express to one another how we feel except in writing, hugging is our only option. She is my sister forever now. Next I hugged B and it was so exciting to finally meet him and hear his voice in person! They were both beaming, and so were we. We took them to one of our favorite hangouts, Pizza Port, in Carlsbad. They loved the pizza. They laughed about how Americans use so much cheese on our pizzas and then top it with more cheese (Parm)! It really is amusing when someone from the outside world points that out. Tim and B hit it off, as I knew they would, right away. They did most of the talking for us while S and I just played with Ezra and made very small talk. We drove them to our home so they can see where their little Peanut will be baking. I took S to pick up Paisleigh from her friend's house and we were able to talk about a few things. It was exciting to actually speak and understand a little bit. Without the men there, we were able to chat and say if we understood or not. We met some of my family for dinner at Lucille's since they have never had American BBQ. It was a day of food overload! Our children took to them right away. Ezra wanted them to hold him, hold his hands, play with him. Paisleigh did the same. She wanted S to see every toy that she owns, and watch her play every game on her iPad. I explained to her again that I would be having a baby and S would be taking it home with her. Paisleigh was more than content with that! Tim is driving S & B back to their hotel right now (an hour away), but we will be seeing them again tomorrow and Sunday. S has her egg retrieval on Friday so send your positive thoughts her way! We are one step closer to baby time! I will update when I can, everything is starting to fly by!
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| S & B playing with our kiddos <3 |
Friday, February 21, 2014
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Family Skype Date
Skyped a day late this week with S & B, but for a good reason -- Tim and both kids were able to join us :) Normally, Tim is at work and Ezra is napping. I haven't really discussed my family and their views on the situation. My husband Tim is beyond supportive and super excited to be part of this experience. He has always encouraged me to pursue surrogacy, but wanted us to complete our family first. There's always the worst case scenario that I could lose my uterus due to a pregnancy complication or other things. But now that we have our daughter, Paisleigh (4.5) and son, Ezra (15 months), we are excited to help others complete their own families. We all initially met via Skype back in January, but today was the first time we were able to speak without the agency reps and translator. We were able to speak as friends/family rather than two sides of the "business."
S (the wife) is becoming more familiar with English, which is so exciting. As of right now, I have to speak to B (the husband) and he has to translate to S & vice versa when she wants to speak to me. Her and I are both very chatty people, and poor B has to try and keep up. I hope to one day be able to speak directly with her since we have so much in common, and obviously are sharing a huge experience. I am still practicing my French, but will be in no condition to speak fluently anytime soon. And apparently Tim is easier to understand, since he lacks the slight southern accent like myself. I need to work on my annunciation. Sorry B!
We were able to get more information on the process of what is to come for them after the baby is born. Once the baby is born, S & B will have to stay in the states for at least 4 weeks in order to get the baby's passport prepared. Because surrogacy is illegal in France, S & B will never legally be recognized as the parents of the baby in France. They cannot even use the platform of adoption since they would have to go through the French administration for this to occur. B has not even told his work that he is coming to America next week for fear of being questioned. I did not realize the severity of protest of surrogacy in France, but it is real and it is devastating. To prevent a person from having their own child, regardless of the methods used, is so awful. Here in America, we take for granted the choices we have to have/not have children, having another human carry our child, or the option of giving the child up for adoption. Luckily, S is not one bit worried since it is her dream to live in America, and their little Peanut will technically be an American :) Whatever their choice, I hope that they can live in peace as a family, legally recognized or not.
They will be here in 8 days and 3 weeks until our final screenings! I will be flooding this blog with posts so keep an eye out :)))
S (the wife) is becoming more familiar with English, which is so exciting. As of right now, I have to speak to B (the husband) and he has to translate to S & vice versa when she wants to speak to me. Her and I are both very chatty people, and poor B has to try and keep up. I hope to one day be able to speak directly with her since we have so much in common, and obviously are sharing a huge experience. I am still practicing my French, but will be in no condition to speak fluently anytime soon. And apparently Tim is easier to understand, since he lacks the slight southern accent like myself. I need to work on my annunciation. Sorry B!
We were able to get more information on the process of what is to come for them after the baby is born. Once the baby is born, S & B will have to stay in the states for at least 4 weeks in order to get the baby's passport prepared. Because surrogacy is illegal in France, S & B will never legally be recognized as the parents of the baby in France. They cannot even use the platform of adoption since they would have to go through the French administration for this to occur. B has not even told his work that he is coming to America next week for fear of being questioned. I did not realize the severity of protest of surrogacy in France, but it is real and it is devastating. To prevent a person from having their own child, regardless of the methods used, is so awful. Here in America, we take for granted the choices we have to have/not have children, having another human carry our child, or the option of giving the child up for adoption. Luckily, S is not one bit worried since it is her dream to live in America, and their little Peanut will technically be an American :) Whatever their choice, I hope that they can live in peace as a family, legally recognized or not.
They will be here in 8 days and 3 weeks until our final screenings! I will be flooding this blog with posts so keep an eye out :)))
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Waiting, Waiting, Waiting...
Whoops, it's been two weeks since I've written a post. But honestly, nothing has happened. Womp womp womp... Still waiting for cycle number three to start the first week of March. But on a more exciting note -- S & B will be here in 10 daysssss!!! Yay :) We are getting to spend time with one another before the whole IVF process begins, which is very atypical for an International case. We've been religiously Skyping on Fridays and emailing 3-4 times a week. I've also been practicing French on an awesome free site and listening to French music on Iheartradio. I also bought their future baby a little gift :) Thank goodness I have school, work, and children to keep me busy. Otherwise, I would be even more impatient than I already am. I will update as soon as anything changes!
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